The Best And Worst Of The First Trimester
Apparently I am now hanging out in 'The Pregnancy Honeymoon Period' (according to my OB) so it should be all easy-breezy-bumpiful for a few months until I get heavy and ready to swell and be sore! Anyway now I'm two months into trimester two, I'm reflecting back to the fall when I found out that I was pregnant and went through the best and worst of the first trimester.
The positive pee stick announcing 'pregnant'! Like whaaaat??! Really???? Shall we check another eight times just to be sure????!!!! IS THIS FOR REALLLL????
The first ultrasound confirming there is in fact a little embryo planted in my womb, growing into a fetus and realizing that the little splodge of white onscreen is soon to be our future child.
Hearing the heartbeat for the first time... and my husband trying to drumbeat it's tempo.
Buying / borrowing pregnancy books to keep track of babies growth... it's a strawberry, baby! Our baby is A STRAWBERRY!!!!
Experiencing a new sensation inside my body, the sensation of life developing, and the body's built in autopilot just knowing what to do to do it right!
The humbling experience of how miraculous nature and the human body is...! How does it just KNOW how to do this?!?! THIS IS HOW I STARTED OUT IN THE WORLD???!
Lying in bed dreaming ahead with my husband; what do we think will be our babies gender, what will be it's name?? Who will it look like? What type of personality will it have? Who is this person that we don't know yet???!! That's made from US??!!!
Being responsible for something other than just myself... making choices 'for the baby'... I guess I should eat some more greens... and stay away from sushi... and not use my chemical skin care regime... and take it easy when working out... does that mean I am a mother already?!
Eating and eating and eating some more! Whatever you want body, you got it, cuz I am eating for TWO!!! And I've got a bottomless appetite for all my favorite foods! So Bring. It. On!
Having an excuse to do fuck all. Because I don't feel like it. And I am GROWING A BABY!
Following baby blogs and downloading baby apps... and not feeling guilty for spending hours flicking through forums and photos cuz it's all research baby. I'm educating myself here. #celebritypregnancies
Having a secret with my husband. Like having our own little club together... with baby. And no one else knows!
Then sharing the news with friends and family - the happy tears, the shrieks of delights, the questions, the secret's out, but now it's even better, because everyone is also excited for us! And everyone has their own theory of what gender it will be, names, timing, planning, etc! The whole community's involved!!
How much love Baby Carlsson already has in everyone's hearts before anyone has even met her/him yet!!
Fu*ked up thoughts, what is something goes wrong...? Scared to do anything, use anything, eat anything, breathe anything or move anything that might not be good for the baby...
Worried waits for OB test results to confirm all is healthy and on target... so the results are all good? Shall we just check a million more times??! Just want to be sure everything is OK!
Fatigue like you just can't. Nope. Definitely can't.
Morning sickness which is in actual fact 24/7 sickness. A queasiness, like feeling sea sick. All day long. And all night long. There is no break. For 10 whole weeks. Urghh. The worst.
Crying cuz you want to take a break... just for a minute.... then feeling guilty for wanting a break and not wanting a break at all... I'll bear it all for this little beauty, this baby, my baby, I'll do ANYthing! I am a mother lion!!!
Crying because I love my husband so much and we've created this beautiful life together. Then crying because I hate my husband so much and I'm the one who has to bloody grow this baby! Then crying cuz I'm crying, and not really knowing why I'm crying. Then crying cuz I realize I WANT to be the one growing this baby!
Crying. And then crying cuz my husband's mad at me for crying.
Feeling very extreme... and mean... I don't have the energy for anything, or anyone, or especially any energy to be nice.
Food aversions to my husband (haha) Don't even think about coming close to me if you just put on deodorant or cologne. Get out NOW.
Clothes becoming tight but not having a bump yet, so just feeling plump, and sick and gross and smelling gross, cuz I can't even stand the smell of my own deodorant.
Having a secret. And having to make up excuses for why I'm being so flakey or rude or hormonal lately.
Waking up at 4.30am to eat.
Counting weeks and days and just hoping it's almost the second trimester already!